Becoming A Wife: What Every Millennial Woman Should Know About Marriage

Being married will not make you happy; your happiness should come from within. When two happy people join together, you want to see the best in each other. Here’s a list I’ve created for every millennial woman who has a desire to be married.

What you accept before your marriage will continue during your marriage if it isn’t handled upfront

For an example, if you accept mediocrity from your boyfriend before the marriage, don’t expect excellence from him during the marriage. It is very rare that people change what has been continuously accepted. If your boyfriend is a pathological liar before the marriage, he will not all of a sudden start telling the truth when yall say “I do”. It takes way more effort after the marriage to change a behavior that was once accepted.  

Mean what you say, and say what you mean, otherwise it will be hard to take it back

The enemy hears you, and the power of the tongue is real. Marriage hit Marcus and I REALLY hard during the first year of our marriage. We were very new to living together, and were not equipped to handle huge disagreements like we thought we were. I made the mistake by saying I would leave the marriage, knowing I had no plans of doing so. Marcus is my best friend, and no one can replace him. It took months for Marcus to truly forgive me. Thank God we are past that because he would not let me forget. Sis, don’t say anything that you do not mean. 

Seeking advice from family and friends can hurt your marriage more than it helps

I will keep it short and sweet. They are not the professional sis. Taking advice from people who have not been married before, or who are not trained/an expert can end your marriage the fast way! Don’t do it.

Don’t place blame on your spouse, even if you think you are right (it will only cause a bigger issue)

For an example, instead of telling your husband that he does not respect you, a better way is to express how you feel without placing blame. Example: “Husband, when you cut me off during a heated discussion, it makes me feel that you do not respect me or value what I have to say.” Approaching it in this manner places emphasis on your personal experiences, and no one can argue with you about your experiences of them.